And I Hope This is The End;

"pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head."

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-Sorry Missy I stole your idea (:

Yet again another night of yelling and screaming. This time I wasn't so lucky to go back to sleep. My mom came into my room and made me talk to her, seeing how today is the 28th. Its been 7 months and she's freaked out and my dad keeps screaming. Because my mom keeps talking... shocker! Just yesterday afternoon my mom and I were talking about how good my dad was doing on his drinking, then this happens. She leaves my room and I fall back to sleep, not a very deep sleep like I was in earlier.

I started dreaming, and there he was... again. It hasn't been in my dreams for awhile and I was shocked to see him there. It was a weird dream, and I'm not going to go into detail. No its wasn't dirty.

Sick of This Shit;

And another night waking up to screaming. We actually a door slam and yelling. I thought things were different now, but I guess I was wrong. I thought they would actually learn something, but I was so wrong. Things aren't different, and their headed in the same direction. I think to myself "It will end soon, just close your eyes and go to your happy place."

My happy place is a memory from my childhood, one of the only ones I remember. It was snowing, we had no school, and my dad was off work. The neighborhood filled with kids as the snow grew greater and greater. It was a friday, so we had all weekend to play with the new snow. But we wanted to get started right away. We started pilling up snow till it was taller than I was. Then we wetted it down so we could slide. Working side by side with my dad we built something that I would remember forever, and the whole neighborhood could appreciate, but only if I wanted them too.

Not before Long, I fell back asleep, But only to be woken up once again by voices shouting, and my sister yelling and crying, a mix I've heard before. Two hours later everything was quiet and still. I feel back asleep, and then my phone went off. Time to get up.

I've Been Dreaming all along;

"Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step you took was the worst."

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I keep having dreams with this recurring person/boy. Its starting to freak me out. It doesn't matter what the dream is, he just walks by, sometimes says hi, sometimes nothing, and sometimes we have a conversation. I've tried googling this but i can't find anything. I don't know what it means. Is it a sign?

"The message in recurring dreams may be so important and/or powerful that it refuses to go away."

Why is this important now? I haven't talked to him in quite awhile, why now?

I guess I just dont understand, does anyone else?

WInter Break;

"I’m on Patron, Tequila
I’m drunk on Margarita [on Margaritas]
That Patron, Tequila [that Patron]"

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We're getting older, and soon we're going to be in college. We graduate next year, the real fucking world that every one talks about it about to begin. This break has made me clear my head, its a new year, and I'm starting off with a new me. Not only am I working my ass off in school, I'm working on me. My body, mind, and mental health. No worries, 2010 is going to be a good year. Scratch that, a great year. Because in less than 8 months, We're Seniors (: I'm pumped, and I'm ready.

No longer am I'm living for you I'm living for me, and it makes me feel great now that I can say that. I want to go far in life, and I have big plans. hah!

Winter Break has been amazing!

I spent time with my best friend, and my family. Even though Christmas with my extended family got postponed due to weather. I couldn't ask for a better break. I partied, slept, and saw aubrey! I spent a relaxing night in a hotel to just get away. Even went to Topeka, Kansas. I had a blast, and the mall is HUGE!

(: